A Pair of Godfathers

Author: Hikari
Rating: NC-17
Archiving: All FQF will be archived solely at this site until January 30th, 2005. After that, it's yours to do with as you will.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. I do not own Harry Potter, its characters, or anything associated with it. I'm not making any money from this story, and I don't intend to.
Challenge & Summary: Challenge #31: Sirius and Remus have broken up, and both think it was for the best...until a complete surprise happens on New Year's Eve that makes them rethink the idea.
Author Notes: Second attempt at a Sirius/Remus fic, so feedback would be appreciated!

“Padfoot! Happy New Year!”

Sirius Black found himself embraced by both the warm greeting and a warm pair of arms, and felt the chill of winter slide slowly away from his body. But neither could warm his heart; it remained cold as the snow outside and as closely guarded as the vaults at Gringott’s.

“Happy New Year, Prongs.” He glanced around the familiar room. “Where is everybody? I thought this was supposed to be a party?”

Secretly he had been hoping to see Remus, but it appeared the werewolf wasn’t there.

“Well, we asked you to come a little early because we needed to talk to you about something.” James slipped an arm around the waist of his wife and gave his best friend a huge grin.

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“Lily and I are going to have a baby!” James’ smile spread to his wife’s face as he gave the announcement.

This time, Sirius blinked. A…baby?! “Congratulations!” he finally managed to get out. “You caught me a little off guard there, Prongs.” He hugged Lily and forced a grin.

Truth be told, it hadn’t really caught him off guard, but rather smacked him in the face. The happiness the newly wedded couple shared was a painful reminder of what he had lost a few weeks earlier…

“I think it’s for the best…don’t you, Sirius?”

Looking into the face of his lover, Sirius just couldn’t bring himself to answer right away.

“We have different lifestyles now, and things just aren’t the way they used to be.” Remus Lupin worried at his bottom lip, a habit he had developed when he was either nervous or focusing really hard on something.

“Well…if that’s the way you feel about it, Moony…I think I can understand where you are coming from…and if it’s what makes you happy, then…” Though he appeared calm on the outside, inside the dog Animagus was a roiling pit of emotions. Anger, regret, guilt, and heart-wrenching misery swirled around inside of him.

‘Don’t just let him walk away! Tell him how you really feel! Show him how much you love him!’ his mind screamed, but Sirius ignored these thoughts, which he would have listened to in any other matter, and nodded painfully at Remus.

“We’ve just been fighting too much, Padfoot and my condition is only making things worse. This is too much of a strain on both of us.” The smaller man moved away to stare out the window at the lazy snowflakes spiraling towards the ground.

Ordinarily, Sirius would have been shouting and screaming at this point; yelling to the other man how he felt. But when it came to the werewolf…well…things changed. His love for the other man might have even been called a weakness. For he felt he could never do anything that caused his love harm, and that was why he was going along with this, even though every fiber in him was straining against it.

“I could never to anything to cause you pain like this, Moony,” Sirius replied, standing up and slipping into his coat. “I’m just sorry I’ve been so much of a burden all this time.”

“Oh, Sirius, but you haven’t--” But by the time the werewolf had turned from the window to say this, the other man was gone. Slowly, he sank into the vacated chair, nestling down into the warmth left by the dog man’s body. Rubbing his lean face tiredly, he stared blankly at the floor, not even noticing when the tears began to fall from his eyes like rain…

That was the last time Sirius had seen Remus, over three weeks ago, and now here he was, standing in the same room as his newly married pal and having to congratulate him on one of the happiest moments of his life.

“But that’s not all,” Lily continued, picking up where her husband left off. “We want you to be the baby’s godfather.”

“Are you sure?” Sirius tried to joke. “I might be a bad influence.”

“We’re serious about this, Padfoot. We really want you to be our baby’s godfather!”

“I know, I know, and I’m really touched that you’d want me to be a part of his—or her—life like this. Just one question, who’s the godmother?”

It was at this point that James and Lily exchanged glances. “Well…”

“In truth, Sirius, there’s one condition for you being the godfather.” James’ face and tone took on a grave note.

“Condition, huh? Well, go ahead, what is it?” The dog Animagus found himself getting slightly annoyed with all of this; it was obvious they were hiding something and he’d be damned if he didn’t try to find out what it was.

“Godparents come in pairs. Now, we haven’t picked out the other half of the pair yet, but we wanted them to be a top-notch wizard of excellent standing. We know of several such, but…” Here the stag trailed off and glanced at Sirius’ face.

“Pairs?” Sirius said, his face taking on a strange look.

“Yes,” answered Lily. “Usually another married or engaged couple. But in this circumstance, it’s obviously…” She, too trailed off.

“A…couple…” the other man murmured to himself.

James nodded. “We only want the best for our child. A pair of wizards both strong and kind, ready to guide him as we would.”

“A pair…”

Silence encompassed the room as emotions darted across Sirius’ face and chased each other round in his eyes. Torment and guilt, grief and anguish, hope and love all mingled together, disappearing and reappearing on his rugged features.

Finally he glanced up, face and eyes now unreadable. “I need to…if you’ll excuse me…have to go see…”

He whirled, dashing towards the door. The newlyweds smiled as his voice floated back to them from the doorway.


His tracks in the snow stretched before him, going the opposite way, as if in a mockery of his emotions. He hadn’t even been at Remus’ long enough for his original tracks to fill with snow. Angrily, he kicked at them as he went, scattering the prints and filling them with powder.

What a dumbass! How could he have just walked away like that?! He had just given up the most precious thing in his life without even putting up a fight. What the hell was wrong with him?!

Kicking open his front door, he then slammed it behind him and let out a scream of bloody murder. Why did things have to be this way?! Why did he have to love that werewolf so much?!

Throwing himself onto his couch, he stared up at the ceiling and snarled as something Remus had once said ran through his mind.

‘If you truly love someone, you’ll put their happiness above your own; sacrificing everything and anything to make sure they are happy…’

Throwing one of the cushions across the room, the Animagus sat up and muttered to himself. A moment later, the cushion burst into flame. Growling, he stomped the fire out and stared at the charred spot on his floor.

He stared so hard and so long, he didn’t even notice when the tears began to fall from his eyes like rain…

Now he stood before the very doorway that had haunted his dreams for the past month. The snow swirled down once again, reminiscent of that horrific day over three weeks ago. Glancing back at his footprints as they once more lead to Remus’ door, Sirius gathered his courage and put his hand on the doorknob.

But just as he was about to turn it and enter Remus’ house, the door swung open and Remus stepped out, wrapping his scarf around his neck and obviously about to go somewhere.

Startled eyes met startled eyes as the two ex-lovers merely stared in shock at each other, their heartbeats soaring sky high. Sirius swallowed hard as his entire stomach seemed to leap into his throat. Remus apparently felt the same way, for the Animagus could see his throat muscles ripple also.

The werewolf was the first to recover. “S-Sirius? What are you doing here?” He cleared his throat and looked away from the other man’s face, glancing past him as if he wished to be anywhere but where he was at the moment.

It was at that moment that the taller man realized he had no idea what he was going to say. He had run all the way to Remus’ house with such resolve, not even sparing a moment of thought as to what he was going to say to the other man once he got there. Now, here he was, standing in front of the very man he wanted most in the whole world…and he didn’t know where to begin.

After a few moments of stunned silence on both men’s parts, Sirius finally opened his mouth. “Remus, I--”

“Happy New Year, Sirius,” the other man cut in quietly, moving past his former lover. As he passed, his should brushed up against the Animagus’ body and everything changed.

It was as if an electric spark was sent through his body at that touch; he seemed to awake from a deep slumber and come alive again. ‘This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be…’

“No,” he replied,” firmly.

“What?” The werewolf began to turn around, but by then it was too late. He found himself lifted into the air and slung over a broad shoulder six feet above the ground. “Sirius! What the hell are you doing?! Put me down!”

“No,” came the same, decisive reply. “This isn’t the way things are supposed to be and you know it. Entering the small house, he kicked the door shut behind them and moved further inside, eventually dumping his precious burden onto the bed and towering over him.

“Sirius! Just what are you getting at? I thought he had agreed this was for the best!” The pain of old memories was returning to Remus’ mind once again, and his former lover could see it beginning to surface in his eyes.

Growling, he shoved the other man back onto the mattress and straddled his hips, putting his face mere inches from Remus’. “Lily and James are having a baby!”

The werewolf’s reaction was nearly identical to Sirius. He paused for a moment, anguish flashing briefly over his face before answering, “Well congratulations to them. I’m…happy for them.”

Smirking, Sirius sat back on his haunches, keeping his legs in place on either side of the other man’s hips. “They want me to be the godfather.”

Now a little bit of anger passed over the shorter man’s face. “Well congratulations.”

“And you know who they want to be the other godparent?”

“I couldn’t possibly guess.”

“You! You, Remus! They want you and I to be the child’s godparents!”

Here Remus paused again. “Me?” he asked quietly. “Me…and…you?”

The shaggy haired dog nodded. “You and me. Remus, don’t you get it? We’re meant to be together, and not just for this baby! This baby merely made me see how wrong I was to let you go! How wrong I was to walk away when all I wanted to do was tell you how much I loved you. Remus…” here he lowered his face back down to the other man’s. “I’m not walking out that door again…I’m not going to spend the rest of my life only being half of a soul. I need you…you complete me. I love you, Remus Lupin.”

It took a moment for the words to sink in, and the Animagus could almost read the werewolf’s thoughts in his eyes as they flashed through his mind. The silence stretched on for what seemed hours, with the dog man waiting and the werewolf battling against himself. But eventually something crumbled inside of him, something broke through like water from a dam and he raised trembling hands to cup the taller man’s face.

“Oh, Sirius…”

And it seemed to Sirius Black that everything the werewolf wanted to convey was expressed though those two words. All his emotions and everything he could ever possibly want to say was related to the taller man through a connection they had thought long gone. The world was as it should be once more.

As relief flooded his body, the Animagus pressed his lips to the werewolf’s reveling in the taste and feel of the mouth he had missed for weeks. Tongue met tongue and intertwined; hands clasped and bodies were united again, sensations and emotions flooding both with a fiery passion not felt in a month.

Neither seemed to want to break the contact, and the embrace went on for many a long minute. But when Remus finally pulled away, still remaining in Sirius’ arms, he stared at the Animagus with regret shining out of his eyes.

He opened his mouth, but found the words he had wanted to say stopped before they could be said. Sirius continued to keep his finger against the lips of his lover for another moment before pulling them away. “Don’t,” he replied in answer to the confusion in the werewolf’s eyes.

“But Sirius, if it wasn’t for me…” his voice trailed off to a whisper. “I’m so sorry…” The insecurity and guilt in his voice pained the shaggy haired man and he hugged Remus even tighter.

“Stop it! It’s not your fault—at least not entirely.” Here he let go of his lover’s body and instead gripped his face firmly in his large hands. “I love you Moony, and only now do I realize how stupid I was to walk away. Please, just forget about everything and instead promise to be with me forever. That’s all I’m asking of you.”

The choked cry and the lips on his once again were enough of an answer for the Animagus, and he felt a lightening in his body, a kind of freeing of his soul. He smiled against Remus’ lips then, realizing that once more, he was whole; what he felt was their souls joining once again, completing their lives.

Now that he had his werewolf back, and right where he wanted, the taller man felt his smile morph into a smirk. Continuing the passionate kiss, he ground his hips down firmly on Remus’, delighting in the response he received.

Gasping, the smaller man broke the kiss and panted, feeling the growing hardness in his pants. He panted as senses and emotions not felt in weeks flooded his body, nearly over whelming him. Sirius hovered above, watching his face closely, eyes slightly hesitating, as if waiting for absolute confirmation from his reunited lover. Smiling, Remus reached up and ran the tips of his fingers along the other man’s jaw, noting how his eyes closed and he leaned into the touch, nuzzling the werewolf’s hands. He chuckled. Sirius really was nothing but a big dog.

At the sound of the chuckle, Sirius opened his eyes and caught the smile dancing on his lover’s lips. Reaching down, he kissed the upturned mouth and moved his hands down Remus’ ribs, slipping them up underneath his shirt to skate over the smooth skin and muscle he found there. His long fingers drifted to a pair of rosy nipples and he tweaked them just so, delighting in the way the werewolf gasped his name. It seemed that even in the time they had been apart, he hadn’t forgotten what Remus liked.

Pushing his hands up to give the hint that he wanted Remus’ shirt removed, Sirius watched with obvious pleasure as the werewolf stripped it off quickly and discarded it onto the floor. Dim light danced over his creamy skin, and the mix of shadows and light on his chest fascinated the Animagus.

Another amused grin turning the corners of his mouth upwards, Remus reached up and tugged on Sirius’ own shirt, yanking it over the shaggy head and tossing it to the floor with his. Trembling hands roamed over his sculpted chest, going over the feel of muscle and skin they had so missed.

Closing his eyes, the dog man reveled in the gentle touch of his lover. A warm glow enveloped his body as he felt the slender fingers trace the outline of his ribs and draw circles around his own dark nipples. Moist lips and an even wetter tongue followed the fingers and Sirius felt a growl being torn from his lips. It seemed Remus hadn’t forgotten either…

The tongue continued lapping at the pebbled nipple, laving it with attention, distracting it from the hand that slid lower and lower down the taller man’s abdomen. The werewolf switched to the other nipple now, nibbling on it, and taking a firm grip on the bulge in his lover’s pants.

Groaning loudly, Sirius bucked his hips instinctively at the touch and felt the tight squeeze he received in return. Remus discarded all pretense of playing with his nipples in favor of slowly pulling down his lover’s pants and freeing his erection from its confines within his tight jeans. Teasingly, he lowered the tip of his tongue slowly down towards the tip of Sirius’ member, stopping right above it and breathing hot breath onto the straining organ.

The Animagus groaned again. “Moony…no teasing…no fair…”

Chuckling, Remus took Sirius’ erection into his mouth in one quick motion, swallowing as much of it as he could and sucking hard. The other man howled loudly, arching his back and threading his hands through the werewolf’s hair. The first drops of his pre cum leaked from his tip and Remus lapped at them greedily. Sirius tasted just as he had remembered…

A startled yelp flew from his lips as he suddenly found himself being pushed down into the mattress. The taller man came into view above him and tore his pants off roughly, a mixture of lust and love shining in his eyes. As soon as the offending articles of clothing were gone, he straddled his lover and ground his hips down, rubbing their erections together and sending delicious heat racing throughout their bodies.

Panting, Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius back, holding onto the other man as if afraid he would disappear at any moment. The Animagus leaned down and pressed his lips to the werewolf’s ear, nibbling on the sensitive skin and whispering loving nonsense. Meanwhile, he slid one large hand over his lover’s member, coating it with his essence. The hand drifted lower and lower until one rough finger traced circles around the werewolf’s puckered opening.

Gasping, said werewolf spread his legs a little more, inviting his reunited lover to delve deeper into his most secret place. It was a measure of the trust between them, always had been, and showed just how close they really were, even after their recent mistake.

Gently, the taller man slid one finger into the tight passage, his member dripping with pre cum now as he thought about what it would feel like to be inside his lover. Twisting it a little, he soon added a second and moved them gently, sensing the other’s discomfort.

Squirming a little at the uncomfortable feeling of Sirius’ fingers, Remus grunted; it had been several weeks since their last bout of sex and his opening had tightened up considerably since then. But soon he was distracted by the feeling of his prostate being stroked, and all discomfort was forgotten as stars exploded before his eyes.

A few more strokes later, and the Animagus added a third finger. Scissoring the digits gently, he waited until Remus forcefully pushed his fingers out and growled at him to hurry it up. Taking this as a goon sign, the taller man positioned himself and thrust slowly into the tight channel of his lover.

Both men panted and moaned as their bodies were joined once more, as lovers should be. Sirius felt the muscles of Remus’ passage clamping around him and nearly came right there, so good it felt to be inside this man once again. Remus, for his part, was concentrating on the heady mix of pain and pleasure he felt as his insides were filled, to bursting it seemed, with the slick erection of his lover. Breathing heavily, he pushed back with his hips, forcing the stiff member the rest of the way in, and paused, waiting for his body to readjust.

Sirius waited as patiently as he could, panting even harder now, and watched Remus’ face closely, drinking in the site of his flushed cheeks and half-lidded eyes. The slight nod of the werewolf’s head told the Animagus that he was ready to continue and so he did, starting out his thrusts slowly, and gradually building up speed.

The sudden yell and arching of his back told Sirius he had hit Remus’ sweet spot. Angling his thrust just so, he continued to pound his lovers’ prostate mercilessly, loving the cries of pleasure we wrung from the other’s body. Heat flooded the two as fire coursed in their veins, coming from their groins, and consumed them in an intense orgasm.

Twin shouts echoed in the room as both men arched their backs sharply and roared their lover’s name to the sky above. They trembled at the top of their high and clung to each other like rafts in a storm, riding out the waves of their orgasms helplessly, abandoning themselves to the overwhelming pleasure.

Moments later, when the peak finally began to decline, they collapsed panting into each other’s arms, whispering and breathing erratically.

“I’ve missed you Sirius…” Remus whispered, pressing himself up against the body of his lover and burying his face in the other’s strong chest. “I have to admit…I didn’t really think it was the best. I changed my mind the moment you walked out my door. I was so afraid you would never come back to me and I’d be alone for the rest of my life.”

His throat tightening with emotion, the Animagus merely pulled his lover closer in a fierce hug and claimed his lips once more in a passion-filled kiss.

When they finally broke apart, eyes glazed and tired bodies slowly slipping into the realm of sleep, Sirius chuckled and commented, “What a pair of godfathers we’ll make…”

Smiling in response, Remus closed his eyes and found himself drifting off to sleep in a way he hadn’t for the last month. ‘How could I have ever thought of living my life without him…?’

And so it was that the New Year found the two lovers wrapped in each other arms and sleeping peacefully. Slowly, their dreams crept from the shadows and overtook them, and a benevolent moon rose into the sky and looked down on them as they slept. And it watched over them, it smiled, if the moon could be said to smile, and a few miles away, James and Lily grinned to themselves and shared their own embrace.

“It seems we chose rightly for our baby, James…” Lily smiled at her husband.

“Yes,” he replied, still grinning from ear to ear. “Those two will make one hell of a set of godparents…”

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