Garçon Jaloux

Author: Jessica
Rating: Hard R to NC-17
Archiving: All FQF will be archived solely at this site until September 30th, 2005. After that, it's yours to do with as you will.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. I do not own Harry Potter, its characters, or anything associated with it. I'm not making any money from this story, and I don't intend to.
Challenge & Summary: Challenge FM #01: Remus loves Sirius. They aren’t together and he feels he’ll never stand a chance with Sirius. Somehow he gets jealous of… Snape. Must have very puppy ending and avoid slutty Sirius. NC-17 would be welcome. Remus wants Sirius. Sirius is too busy with....Snape.
Author Notes: Thanks to katialara and brak4werewolves for the betas.


Hot, sweat-slicked skin.

Lithe bodies pressing into one another. Tongues gliding, hands roaming. Hearts beating wildly erratic rhythms as cock thrusts against cock.

Gasping. Moaning. Too…..much……

“Sirius,” Remus moaned, spilling over his own hand onto his damp, scarlet sheets. Silently, he thanked Merlin for his newfound proficiency at imperturbable charms while cursing his traitorous hand for aiding his perverse subconscious.

The dreams had started sometime in third year. Lean bodies, clever tongues, roaming hands -- no faces. At the end of fourth year, dark hair and gray eyes became part of these ever-frequent dreams. Not until fifth year did the final bark-like laughter and sharp Black features come into focus.


At least now that he was in sixth, Professor Flitwick had taught enough about the imperturbable charm that he could sleep without fear of moaning his best mate’s name mid-coital.

Sighing, Remus pulled back the heavy hangings around his four-poster and reached for his wand. Just before the velvet closed back, he heard a quiet whisper --- Moony.

Shaking his head, he decided he must make an effort to get more sleep, as delirium was apparently beginning occur.


“Yes, James, add those two together and that’s the answer to number forty-seven,” Remus said with a grin. He and James were making progress on their assignment now that Sirius had finally stopped pestering them , calling them “poofters“ and giving them odd looks. Leaning over James, he dipped his quill into the inkwell across the table.

“I‘ve got it, Moony!” James said, leaning in as Remus reached over him. The movement forward combined with the sudden jump back ended with James’ lips just under Remus’ nose.

“Care for a smooch, eh Moony?” James giggled nervously, waggling his eyebrows.

“AHA!” Sirius crowed, jumping up from the table and sending parchment, quills, the inkwell flying in all directions and Remus flying after each in an attempt to save hours worth of work. With the attention of the entire Gryffindor common room upon him, the ever suave and elegant Sirius Black simply grinned and ran his fingers through his shoulder length hair.

In a stage whisper, he leaned down to James’ ear and said, “Prongs, a moment of your time please. I have devised yet another in a long line of Brilliant Plans.” Without waiting for a reply, Sirius grabbed the stuttering mass of his best friend, who held his large wire-rimmed glasses to his face to avoid losing them, and dragged him up the stairs toward the sixth year boys’ dormitory.

With a sigh and a shrug at Peter, who had a somewhat wounded expression, Remus simply gathered the pieces of the scattered Arithmancy project and attempted to reorganize the mess of parchment. He was only slightly annoyed with Sirius’ carelessness and despised himself for the reason why.

Scenes from last night’s dream flooded back into his mind and he felt the heat rise up his neck and into his face. Soft kisses along his jaw. The brush of Quidditch roughed fingers over his collar bone. Dark hair brushing over his bare chest. A pause above the waist of his trousers. A wicked grin. And then….OH!…….Sirius!

“What’s that, Moony?” Peter asked, jerking him back to the cold stone floor of the common room --- and reality.

“Mmmmm?” Remus hummed, mentally kicking himself for losing a any amount of composure in public. “What was that Pete?”

“That’s what I’d like to know,” Peter murmured thoughtfully. “Sounded like you were moaning something.”

“Oh, no,” Remus replied, composing himself rapidly. “Just cursing the day I ever laid eyes upon Sirius Black.”

“Oh,” said Peter, warming a bit to the subject. “Doesn’t seem fair, does it? Him dragging Prongs off like that, probably to discuss the next prank without us. I’d like to be included in the very first planning stages every once in a while. Rather than just given the plan and a menial task when it’s all hatched out. “

Remus stared across the table at Peter and with a fleeting thought that he was staring the green-eyed monster right in the face. Of course I’m jealous, Wormtail! I want Padfoot to drag me up the stairs to the dormitory, too! But I doubt for the same reasons as you.

“Mmmmm,” Remus hummed again.

“Really, Moony,” Peter continued, “s’not fair the way they go off and plan. They spend hours and hours planning the next Slytherin attack or the best possible angle to hex Snape without retaliation. Do you realize that they spent all of History of Magic today drawing up a map of Snivellus’ routes throughout the day? And not once did they ask if WE wanted to help.”

Bugger it, Peter I don’t CARE about planning pranks! I just want Sirius to spend half the time he does thinking about Snape thinking about ME! Remus screamed in his mind. “Well, have you expressed your interest in the planning, Wormtail?” he asked, instead.

“Well, errr, not exactly.” Peter mumbled, blushing a shade so deep it made the Gryffindor scarlet brocade of the squashy chair pale in comparison.

“Honestly, Pete,” Remus sighed, settling back into his chair and picking up his favorite quill, “just tell James and Sirius that you want to help plan a prank. How can you expect them to know without you telling them?”

“Hmmm,” the sandy-haired boy hummed, the fire dancing in his pale hazel eyes. “Guess I just thought they should know, y’know?”

With a shrug, Remus returned to his project, pushing the thoughts of salty-slick skin, dancing gray eyes, and shoulder length black hair from his already crowded mind. With any luck, this “phase,” as he was calling it, would pass. For now, he would focus on numbers and runes.


A week later found Remus pressed into a tiny alcove with a certain gray-eyed boy.

“Sirius, really,” he whispered, attempting to push himself into the wall to avoid contact with the other boy, “I have homework to finish and this is a waste of time.” Seven increasingly sleepless nights and twenty-three cleaning charms to his bedclothes did not make for a particularly cheerful Remus. Besides, this was a scene in yesterday’s mid-afternoon wank fantasy.

“Ahh, Moony!” Sirius whispered so loudly that he may as well have bellowed, “Lighten up! This one’s going to be good! I’ve spent hours perfecting the Probosciso! Snape’s beak really WILL be a beak!” He nearly crowed the last part, which set Remus to snorting at the irony.

“See, Moony,” he leaned in, grinning wickedly and invading the fraction of personal space Remus had acquired, “you’re already having fun and it hasn’t even started, yet!”

“Mmmmhmm,” Remus replied, digging his fingers into his palms and reciting silently I do not notice his scent. I do not notice his scent. I do not -- oh bugger!

A moment later, the muffled voices of Severus Snape and Regulus Black were carried to Remus’ ears. It appeared that Regulus was bidding Snape farewell, leaving the older boy alone in a corridor, unprepared for Sirius’ impending attack. Remus suddenly felt a mixture of amazement and frustration at Sirius’ obviously meticulous research and reconnaissance work.

He felt the anger creep up his neck and in sharp flare, he pushed Sirius, who had somehow managed to fold himself into every inch of space not occupied by Remus, through the cupboard door into the hallway.

Moony,“ screeched Sirius, “what the fuck?“

“Lovers’ quarrel?“ drawled Snape, his books now tossed aside and wand very much at the ready.

“Sod off, Snape,“ Remus snapped, causing a dumbfounded Sirius to gape up at his usually quiet, well mannered mate.

A look of shock passed over the Slytherin’s face before being chased away by a snarl. “Lupin’s finally got a backbone has he? Must be the Gryffindor coming out in you. Pity.“

With a quick flick of his wand, and (he’d swear later) not a thought in his head , Remus shouted Probosciso and threw the intended hex at Snape. Snape caught the flash of light directly in the nose and fell backwards, squawking and covering his newly formed, multi-colored beak.

“Way to go, Moony!” Sirius shouted, jumping up to congratulate his friend. “I never would have--”

“You shut up, too!” Remus growled, spinning around as Sirius leaned in to clap him on his back.

“But--” Sirius sputtered and began backing away from Remus’ outstretched wand.

“I mean it, Sirius. Just…shut up. I’m walking away. You will not follow me. You will escort Severus to the hospital wing, where you will wait with him as Madame Pomfrey treats him. You will inform her that I was the one who hexed him and that I am en-route to see Professor McGonagall at this very moment.” Before Sirius could protest, Remus turned to address the squawking Snape.

Lifting an eyebrow, he continued, “Severus, I apologize. Rest assured that this was NOT what I had planned. No, not at all. Please accept my most sincere apologies. This shall never happen again.”

With that, he turned on his heel and walked down the corridor towards Professor McGonagall’s office. For the entire walk he berated himself for losing control, for attacking Snape, for shoving Sirius. Frustration wrapped itself in self-loathing and settled into the bottom of Remus’ stomach.


Five hours later, an exhausted, chalk covered Remus entered the darkened dormitory. Not wanting to wake his sleeping mates, he tip toed across the room and crawled into his bed, pulling the curtains closed.

Laying back into the plush duvet, Remus sighed. He had told McGonagall what he’d done. But, when the professor asked why, Remus had no explanation to offer her. He knew that jealousy was his motivation. Had known a split second after throwing the hex at Snape. But telling his head of house that he was envious of the time and work his best friend, who happened to be of the same gender, spent on an enemy instead of him was out of the question.

The four and a half hours of eraser beating (how muggle primary school of her) gave Remus plenty of time to think. With each thwack, he mentally hit his sources of anger. Sirius. Thwack! Jealousy. Thwack! Sirius. Thwack! Jealousy. Thwack! It had been a stress-relieving experience and Remus wondered just how intuitive Professor McGonagall was to have given him a physical task to take out his frustration.

Now he lay back on his bed, staring at the canopy and reviewing the decisions he’d made between Thwacks.

“Sirius is my friend. I love him as my friend,” he chanted in a whisper. You want him as more than a friend, his mind whispered back.

Ignoring the interruption, he continued, “Sirius likes girls. Sirius doesn’t want a male werewolf. I will not be jealous of others who occupy Sirius’ time. Sirius is my friend.”

“Moony?” came a whispered question from the other side of the hangings. Poking his head through, Sirius caught Remus’ eye and asked, “You’re awake, then?”

“Yes, Sirius, awake. Is there something you need?”

“Budge over a bit,” Sirius instructed as he climbed through the scarlet material wearing, Remus noted, only his boxers. Tucking his legs under himself, he folded his hands in his lap and looked at Remus expectantly.

“Sirius,” Remus sighed, turning his head to face the wall, “I’m exhausted. Can’t we discuss whatever it is tomorrow?”

“No, no, Moony, I really think we should talk about this now,” the dark haired boy replied.

“Talk about what?”

“Oh, you know, the weather, our charms essay, and oh, yes, THAT DISPLAY THIS EVENING!” Sirius practically screeched.

“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Quiet, Padfoot! You’ll wake James and Pete! And you know how pleasant James is when first awoken, especially by a bellowing best mate,” Remus scolded in a whisper and whipped his head around to face his friend.

“Right. Fine. Just….” Sirius shifted slightly, running his fingers through his hair, “Just what was all of that -- attacking Snape, storming off -- what was that about? I mean, I understand that he’s a greasy git and all, but you’re always going on and on about how we should let him alone.”

Exhaling, Remus replied, “Nothing, Pads. It was nothing. Just, sometimes I get tired of being on the sidelines is all.”

“Well, yes, yes, I could understand, but…..Moony….it’s just so unlike you I just……I don’t know what to think. You’ve been snappy a lot recently. I just…I mean, I didn’t do anything to make you mad, did I?” Sirius asked, now furiously tugging at his shoulder length strands.

After a moment, Remus exhaled, but offered no more explanation. Exasperated, Sirius flew forward, placing a hand on each side of his friend’s head.

“Moony,” he breathed, his nose nearly touching Remus’s, “Moony, I can’t fix it if I don’t know what I’ve done.”

“Y-you haven’t done a-anything,” Remus answered, his voice catching as he silently prayed to anyone who might be listening to keep Sirius unaware of what was happening in his trousers in response to the nearly-nude boy’s proximity.

“Then, what is it, Moony!” Sirius pushed his palms into the mattress on either side of Remus’ head and bore his slate-gray stare into Remus’ amber. A slow smile spread across his face as he continued to hold his gaze. “I could kiss it and make it all better.” The grin widened as he clipped the last word.

“Sir--” Remus began to protest, but was cut short by Sirius’ lips upon his own.

It was an awkward dance with teeth clacking and lips missing each other, but it was still a kiss -- one that Remus had been fantasizing about for far too long. As Sirius pulled away slightly, Remus couldn’t control the moan rising from deep in his throat.

Slowly, he opened his eyes (when had they closed?) and searched Sirius’ face for signs of disgust or hatred. Neither were present, though another grin was playing at his friend’s moistened, reddened (kiss-bitten) lips.

“Sirius, I……you…..we---” he began.

Placing a quidditch roughed finger over Remus’ own swollen lips, Sirius whispered, “Shhhhhhhhhhh!”

Heat was creeping along Remus’ skin, spreading from his belly in all directions. Tingling lower and lower, he realized what Sirius was grinning about. He had hooked his leg over his friend’s and the erection straining through the fabric of his trousers and robes could not be missed.

As the heat crept up his neck and stained his cheeks bright pink, he unhooked his calf from behind Sirius’. “I’m so sorry, Pad---” he began.

“No!” Sirius commanded, raising his voice enough that he paused to listen for the sleeping boys. After a moment, he continued, “No, Remus. You don’t get to apologize for this one. This is the first time you’ve been completely open -- unguarded -- with me.”

“But, Sirius…” he was cut short again as Sirius pushed forward, pressing his own hardened length into Remus’ hip. “Oh!“ he gasped as realization washed over him.

Without a pause, he reached up, threaded his fingers through Sirius’ hair, and pulled his friend down into another kiss. Confident tongues danced on the roof of mouths, teeth nibbled at ever swelling lips, and two bodies pressed to one another, hungrily thrusting, seeking out friction and release.

Balancing on one hand, Sirius reached down between them and fumbled with Remus’ robes. Pushing aside chalk covered material, his fingers unfastened buttons and unzipped zippers, finally reaching swollen, throbbing flesh. In one swift movement, Remus’ hardened length sprang free and Sirius freed his own straining member.

Both boys thrust simultaneously, pushing heated, sensitive flesh together in a slippery, sliding, craze-inducing rhythm. Frenzied moments later, Remus stilled and moaned into Sirius’ mouth as orgasm ripped through his body and spilled between their sliding cocks.

Pressing into the added heat of Remus’ come, Sirius thrust one, two, three more time before release overtook his body and he shuddered and collapsed atop Remus. Minutes, hours, years, it seemed, later, he slid down to curl into Remus’ still side.

Draping one arm over Remus’ torso, Sirius nuzzled into his friend’s ear and whispered, “Moony, you smell like chalk.”

Smiling into the dark, Remus chuckled. “Yes, Padfoot, I know.”

Pressing his lips into the flesh peeking above the collar of Remus’ shirt, he murmured into the soft flesh, “Y’should take your clothes off. S’too warm to be wearing this much.”

A moment later, his clothing was banished to the floor and nothing but skin -- hot, sweat-slicked skin -- touched his body.

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