Summer Night

Author: Lee West
Rating: NC-17
Archiving: All FQF will be archived solely at this site until September 30th, 2005. After that, it's yours to do with as you will.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. I do not own Harry Potter, its characters, or anything associated with it. I'm not making any money from this story, and I don't intend to.
Challenge & Summary: Challenge FM#07: During either the first or the second war against Voldemort, the pups find that another member of the Order has a secret. Sirius and Remus find out what it is; and OC #02: Remus loves chocolate. Remus also loves Sirius. Just how does Sirius exploit this? A certain member of the Order has been acting very strangely. Remus and Sirius get very suspicious and, with Hermione’s invaluable help, find out what it is. There’s also chocolate, of course.
Author Notes: Thanks to the amazing Donatella, the best Plot Bunny Breeder a girl can have; to Kate for the beta; and to Xellas for reading and giving me encouragement to go on. I love you all. And a warning: Anachronism.

Molly tiptoed past the girls’ bedroom. Hermione and Ginny were talking in hushed tones, probably about boys. They should be occupied for a while. The twins were equally busy, creating havoc, no doubt. For once, she didn’t care. It was better like that. As long as they were occupied, they wouldn’t bother her. Ron and Harry were in their bedroom, too. She had heard loud Quidditch discussion when she passed by. The only other people in the house were Sirius and Remus. Sirius didn’t talk to her if he could avoid it, and Remus kept his friend company.

She should be able to carry out her secret plan in peace. Carrying the metal box in her hand, she opened the door to the library, stepped inside, closed the door softly, walked to the large oak desk, sat down comfortably in the swivel chair, opened the top of the metal box, pressed a button on it, waited impatiently for a few seconds and then finally started typing.

posting in

Title: Summer Night (1/?)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: It’s the hottest summer in recent history. Sirius is hot. Remus is hot… for Sirius
Warnings: Very graphic sex between two men. Well, that’s what slash and NC-17 mean, anyway, right, dearies?

A/N: Sirius and Remus exist in real life. I’m keeping their real names because I know they will never read this. The poor sods don’t even know what a computer is. Don't ask me why :-).

Sirius came out of the bathroom, his naked, wet body glistening with tiny droplets of water. He had just taken a cooling, refreshing long shower. It was a hot, damp summer night and he needed that shower to relax. The shower had felt so good that he was moaning out loud while taking it, feeling the sensation of the cold water against his hot, brawny body. It felt almost like an orgasm. He decided that he really needed to have sex that evening. But with whom? There weren’t that many females in the big house where he lived and, in any event, they weren’t in his age group. Two were teenagers, jail bait, he knew. Another was his cousin and incest was something taboo for him, although it was very common in his family. The last one was a full-figured, attractive older woman, who could certainly teach him a thing or two in terms of sex, but he was so antagonistic towards her that… sometimes I she wondered if that antagonism wasn’t actually unrequited attraction. Because this very nice lady was, of course, happily married and mother to the best seven children in Britain. Well, one of them was being a bit difficult these days, but it’d pass, she knew. And the twins were always a problem. She was sure that their irresponsibility and immaturity came from Arthur her husband’s side of the family.

So, having no other females around and not being able to leave his home, since he was being held in house arrest due to his being in jail a while before, he decided to toss off, as it was the only thing he could do in those circumstances. And toss off he did, grabbing his very large, beautiful, thick and heavy cock in his hand and teasing it with his fingers. He caressed his big balls and moaned even more loudly. He used his left hand (he’s a leftie, by the way) to wank, and with the right hand he was caressing his balls. He pumped up and down, up and down, rubbing the head of his cock with his thumb and then back down again and again, all the way down to the base. He pumped about fifteen times before he came, spluttering come all over the old shower stall. Sated, with a silly grin on his face, he collapsed on the floor and let the water trickle sensuously down his body.

What Sirius didn’t know was that his old friend, Remus, was standing outside of the door of the bathroom, listening to Sirius wanking alone in the shower. As soon as he heard the noises, Remus started wanking, too, because he was secretly in love with Sirius, had always been since they were roommates at Hogwarts the small Scottish private school they had attended. But Sirius didn’t know that, because Sirius had always been a ladies’ man, this being the reason that the nice lady at Grimmauld Place the big house where they all lived had been surprised that he had never made a move towards her. Maybe because she was his cousin by marriage? Maybe because he was afraid of her husband’s bad temper if he found out that Sirius actually coveted his wife? Anyway, Sirius was straight and Remus was gay.

Sirius walked out of the shower and opened the door of the bathroom and saw Remus sitting outside, with his cock in his hand, tossing off and moaning Sirius’s name. It was a shock for Sirius. Remus was gay? He didn’t know (which is strange, because everyone at Grimmauld Place the big house seemed to know, and Sirius was supposedly smart, but…)

Sirius saw Remus’s impressive erection and decided then that he would be gay, too. After all, there was Remus, who obviously lusted after him and could possibly be a nice shag. He knelt down and took Remus’s cock in his

The door to the library opened suddenly, and Molly saw Remus’s smiling face peeking inside. She quickly pressed the “save” key and closed the personal computer, annoyed at the interruption. She was answering a challenge, was running late with her story and couldn’t afford to lose the nice plot bunny that had bitten her. Fangirls would squee in delight over this specific story. Her fics were excellent, she knew, probably the best ones posted at Hot Damn Slash. She was a Big Name Fan. She always got hundreds of very flattering comments, her fics were part of every recommended reading list and she had earned the title of Slash Queen. Before that her screen name had been just Molly.

She looked at Remus, whose eyes were fixed on the computer sitting on the desk. He lifted one of his eyebrows, as if asking her what it was. Well, she had no intention of letting him know what it was. Firstly, he would want to examine it, and since he was very smart, he would probably find a way to turn it on and – Merlin forbid! – even find her LJ. Then he would know who the Slash Queen really was; she couldn’t even bear the thought of Arthur finding out that she had a severe slash kink. And worse, Remus, who she was sure was straight, would see that she had been slashing him with Sirius, who was straight, too. At least she could only assume this from all the comments she had heard about him from other witches. The man was a stud, apparently. Granted, he was now too worried and beaten to think about sex, but he had been a force to reckon with in his youth. Molly knew that he’d be a sex god again as soon as his name was cleared and the war was over.

Which, of course, worried her… Sirius wasn’t a very good role model for Harry. She often imagined Sirius and Harry living together in a bachelor’s pad, the front entrance a revolving door for women spending the night. She wouldn’t let her Ronnie sleep there at all, she vowed.

She hadn’t heard much about Remus, but he didn’t look gay. She knew that he had some mysterious trysts sometimes; he’d leave Grimmauld Place and come back looking pretty happy. She thought that he had a girlfriend of some kind, probably a Muggle, since a witch would never date a werewolf. He was discreet and she was happy for him. Werewolf or not, he needed sex. As long as he didn’t return the obvious attention that Tonks, Hermione and her own Ginny bestowed on him all the time. No, Molly knew she could trust Remus. He was a gentleman.

Which, of course, would make things even worse if he were to find out about her slashy stories. Especially the one where she had actually gotten him pregnant by Sirius. Or the ones where Sirius was the pregnant one. Male pregnancy was another one of her kinks. Oh, she wanted those blokes to know what it was like to have morning sickness, varicose veins and back pain. Not to mention labor pains. And screaming babies. And soiled nappies. And interrupted sex because of said screaming babies and their soiled nappies and their bottomless pits of stomachs at two in the morning.

She always made the non-pregnant partner much more understanding about the other one’s pains and labors than men were in real life. That had always earned her a lot of “awww” comments. She loved those. She was a fluffer at heart.

She noticed that she was possessively hugging the personal computer when Remus pointed at it and asked what that was.

“Hmm…nothing…it’s…just a box of some sort. Something that Arthur found at the Ministry. A Muggle box, that’s it.”

“Oh, I see. What does it do?” he asked curiously.

She cursed his curiosity. Most people would run away as soon as they heard that Arthur had found yet another Muggle contraption. “Not much. It’s used for…oven cleaning.”

“Oven cleaning? A box that cleans ovens? Why don’t you use dragon’s blood? That’s supposed to be very effective.”

“I want to see what those poor Muggle housewives have to go through.”

“But Molly, how can a metal box clean ovens? I don’t understand it.”

“Of course not, Remus,” she humpfed. “When was the last time you cleaned house?”

He looked away sheepishly. He wasn’t much of a house cleaner, he knew. Grimmauld Place would have been even more unlivable if she hadn’t been around. “All right, you have a point. Let me know how it works, though. Maybe it’s something we can adapt to magic, who knows?”

She gave him a tight smile and walked out of the library, still hugging the personal computer. She really needed some peaceful time to finish that story. She didn’t want to miss her train of thought.

She thought about going to her room, but the magic she had done on the personal computer to work inside Grimmauld Place didn’t function on the top floors of the house. Besides, the teenagers would all be flocking into her room if she went upstairs in the middle of the day. She looked at the clock on the wall. It said three o’clock. She would hide in the kitchen, then. Everyone had been fed lunch, so they wouldn’t be bothering her with cries for food. And it was just about time to start preparing supper. This was a guarantee that nobody would step in the kitchen; whenever Molly started cooking, everyone was afraid that they would have to help out, and so they steered clear until the food was almost ready.

Happily, she charmed a nice cup of tea and resumed her story.

mouth, sucking avidly on his friend’s – now his lover’s – hard and beautiful cock. The more he sucked, the more Remus moaned and wriggled on the floor. Sirius then couldn’t hold back any more, as he was very hard again. Remus noticed it and gave Sirius a tube of lube that he always carried with him. Sirius spread some of the lube on his own cock and used some on his finger, too, to stretch Remus so he could comfortably accommodate Sirius’s heavy and beautiful cock.

He plunged into Remus’s body in one swift movement and proceeded to move in and out, helped by Remus’s hip movements. They were very ready, and it didn’t take them too long until they came together, screaming each other’s name.

Sirius was very happy that he had decided to become gay that day. He wouldn’t have to toss off alone in the shower any

The sound of footsteps made her hit the ‘save’ key and close the personal computer again. She almost cursed out loud. At that pace, she would never finish the damn story. She still had to send it to her beta.

She glared at the door of the kitchen. Hermione and Remus were standing in the doorway, looking at her curiously. She stared at them defiantly, but didn’t move from the long table.

“Molly,” Remus said helpfully, “I was telling Hermione about your Muggle oven cleaner and she told me she had never seen one before. I brought her here so you could show it to her. She can probably tell you how to work it.”

“Thank you, Remus,” Molly said haughtily. “But I know how it works. There’s no need for Hermione to bother with this.”

“Oh, I don’t mind, Mrs. Weasley,” Hermione replied eagerly. She wanted to see the Muggle oven cleaner that came in a box. She certainly had never heard of it.

“Well, I do mind, actually. I want you both out of the kitchen now, because I have to start supper. There’s an Order meeting tonight.”

“That’s all right, Molly, let her see it,” Remus said, pointing at the table. “She won’t be in the way. And I can help you with supper.”

He always offered, and she always refused. He could make a good cup of tea, but that was the extent of his culinary skills. She wouldn’t let him in the general cooking area. Sirius, on the other hand, could manage a pretty decent meal, but he was always at odds with her. She’d rather he’d stay away, too. Besides, he never offered.

“No, Remus, thank you. I prefer to cook by myself.” If only they would hurry up and leave, then she’d be able at least to finish that hot scene. He shrugged, and she mentally thanked Merlin that they would apparently leave her in peace.

“But where is it, Mrs. Weasley?” Miss Know-It-All asked, furrowing her brows.

Before she could open her mouth to shoo them away once and for all, Remus answered, “Why, Hermione, right there, on the table. The Muggle oven cleaner.”

Hermione noticed the gadget for the first time. “That?” she asked, pointing at the object on the table.

Remus nodded. Molly paled.

“But that’s not an oven cleaner. That’s a personal computer. And it probably doesn’t work here. Muggle technology doesn’t work in a magical environment.”

Molly held back a victorious smile. Miss Know-It-All didn’t know it all, actually. If she took her nose out of the books and experimented a little, she would have found out that it was really very possible to use Muggle technology amid Magic. She hoped that now the two nosy gits would leave her alone.

But, no, Remus just wouldn’t let it go. “A personal computer? And what does it do, Hermione? Does it clean ovens?” he asked with a frown.

“No, Professor, it doesn’t. It may give instructions on how to clean ovens, but it is like…a brain, actually. It performs functions, you can write text in it and save it in its memory for future use. And you can connect to the outside world, too, by means of the internet. You can send messages to people you know and receive them. If we could find a way to use it here, we could communicate, say, with my parents. They’re logged in every night. Actually, I’d love to do it. I miss them, you know. And owl post takes so long to get back here because of the unplottability of the place.”

Molly felt a bit sorry for her, but her precious computer could not be in anyone else’s hands. Maybe Arthur would be able to get another one for Hermione.

But, of course, the very nosy werewolf just wouldn’t leave it alone.

“Oh, Hermione, I’m sure that Molly can lend it to you and we’ll find a way of making it work for you.” He looked expectantly at Molly, who, by now, had moved closer to the computer and was about to grab it. He noticed the gesture and pleaded with his eyes. Molly felt bad, but that computer was completely out of bounds. It had taken her an inordinate amount of time to find out what that thing was; she had braved going to a Muggle store to ask what in the world that box did. Thankfully the clerk hadn’t laughed at her; he had actually been quite nice, saying that most older people were a bit afraid of computers. He had signed her up for classes, and that was how she had found a great community of people, mostly females, who loved to write and share their stories among themselves.

Writing had kept her mind distracted while the world was at war and her children were running risks at school and in the outside world. It had, on occasion, helped her forget the immense pain that Percy’s denial of his family had caused. And she would be damned if she would relinquish it to that little know-it-all.

Besides, the hard drive of the computer had tons of very pornographic slashy fics. Miss Know-It-All would probably find a way into her document files. Molly knew she should have password protected her computer, but she had never gotten around to it. She would do it soon.

In the meantime she grabbed the computer and showed them the door with an imperious gesture, saying, “Not now. I want you both out of here. I’m busy, and I need peace and quiet. Out. Out.”

Remus threw her a quizzical look. Hermione, who knew the power of Molly’s lungs, quickly beat a retreat. Remus followed the girl, closing the door after them. She could hear their muffled comments; Remus was astonished by Molly’s reaction, while Hermione was explaining to him that people could be quite possessive about their computers.

With a heavy sigh, Molly sat down and finished the first installment of her fic.

more. Now that he had his friend to fuck and life was becoming much better for him.

She wanted to keep on going, but the constant interruptions had put a dampener on her creativity. But this was good for the first part, she reckoned. The second part would be very, very hot and would include one of her major kinks; chocolate dripping on one of the men’s bodies and being licked off sensuously by the other. Her ever growing fan club demanded hot, sexy food smut scenes. No one did them better than her, the Slash Queen.


Molly felt Remus’s inquisitive stare on her throughout supper and all the way through the Order meeting. He really should be paying more attention to the meeting and less to her. Not that she was paying much attention to Dumbledore’s rambling, on possible things that Voldemort was planning. Her mind was miles away, in sweet slash land. She had composed the next part of her story in her mind. It was good, she thought. All she needed was for the stupid meeting to finish, see everyone out, wait for Sirius and Remus to go upstairs, send Arthur to bed under the guise of having to clean up and finally get the chapter out.

Finally the meeting ended, this time thankfully without a fight between Snape and Sirius. It happened constantly, and it meant that people would linger around until the conflict was resolved. She kissed her beloved Bill, who seemed in a hurry to leave. She reckoned he was probably going to stop at Fleur’s flat. She liked Fleur and was hoping that Bill would propose soon. Molly wanted to have a grandchild to spoil rotten.

As Bill was about to leave, Shacklebolt, who was following him, remembered that he had forgotten something inside and came back inside the house. She surreptitiously watched him walk away, noticing his shapely arse. Maybe she could use him in a threesome of some kind. Or slash him with someone else. But who? Snape, maybe? No, he was too greasy.

To her surprise, Bill stopped at the door.

“Anything the matter, dear?” she asked with a frown. She loved her oldest son, of course. Maybe he wanted to talk to her in private… ask her about how he should propose to Fleur. The only problem was that tonight wasn’t a good night.

“Hmmm…no, Mum, everything’s fine,” he replied with his beautiful smile.

“Aren’t you leaving?”

“Oh, yeah, I will, as soon as Kingsley’s ready.”

“You’re waiting for him?”

It could have been her impression, but Bill blushed slightly. “Yep, I am. We’ll…walk together.”

“But you’re going in opposite directions,” she said with a frown.

“Erm…well, we’ll just walk part of the way toge-- Ah, here he is. Let’s go, Kingsley.”

The two of them quickly stepped out of 12, Grimmauld Place and Disapparated together. Molly thought that it was very strange. Didn’t Bill say they would walk together? But she didn’t have time to dwell on it. Now she had to find a way to get everyone, including the host, up into their own bedrooms.

To her dismay, Sirius, Remus and Arthur were sitting at the long kitchen table, a bottle of Firewhisky in front of them. Molly staunchly disapproved of drinking. In her stories the good characters didn’t drink or smoke. She wrinkled her nose at the liquor, but soon realized that, once the bottle was polished, the three men would probably be drunk and tired. Then she could have the kitchen – or the library – to herself. After years of having to wake up many times during the night, she didn’t need that many hours of sleep.

She made herself a cup of tea and sat down at the table. The conversation revolved around Order business, as usual. Then it changed to Quidditch, which bored her even more. Then, just as it seemed that the men were right at the point of being nicely drunk, the nosy werewolf decided to give everyone his two Knuts worth. Which was all he was worth, anyway.

“Oh, Arthur, do you think you could find another computer, maybe? We could try to connect Hermione with her parents every night. It would also save us the trouble of having to read the Muggle newspapers, apparently, to find out if Voldemort is acting up.”

Arthur looked at him as if he was coming from outer space. “A…what, Remus?”

Molly cursed both the werewolf and her husband. Sirius, who was perched precariously on a tilted back chair with his eyes closed, was saved from the general hatred for the moment.

“A personal computer, Arthur, like the one you gave Molly.”

“I gave you one of such things, dear?” Arthur was very surprised.

She looked at him stonily. She hated them all. Even Sirius, who had just opened his eyes and was looking at her inquisitively, too. “Well, you gave me something, remember, a metal box?”

“Oh, that’s right. It opened up and had a rectangle on the top and something with letters and numbers on the bottom. I remember. That’s a conturber, Remus?” He asked, sitting up eagerly.

“No, Arthur, it’s a computer. Something used for calculation, communication, writing - things like that. At least, that’s what Hermione told me. She needs one to contact her family. And we can make it work here, even without electricity.”

The word ‘electricity’ brought a goofy grin to Arthur’s face. Molly was sure that, if Arthur ever wanted to have sex again and found himself impotent, all that she would have to do would be to say ‘electricity’ and his cock would stand to attention immediately. He was probably hard right at that moment.

“Well, Molly, bring it here. Let’s see it.”

“NO,” she shouted. “Nobody is going to play with it.”

“We’re not going to ‘play’ with it, Molly,” Remus said in a conciliatory way. “We just want to see what it does.”

“It does everything you said it does.”

Arthur’s eyes glistened with an almost feral tone. “What did you say, Molly? You know how to work it?”

Molly knew immediately that Arthur really was hard then. If she didn’t have to write the next chapter and if the two gits took off, maybe she and Arthur would even be able to have sex. Although, she thought, it would be very possible that, by the time they got to their room, his erection would be gone. She pursed her lips. “No, Arthur, I don’t know how it works. How could I? It’s a Muggle thing. I’m using it as an oven cleaner.”

BANG! The two front legs of Sirius’s chair hit the floor. “What the fuck?” he asked with his oh-so-posh accent, which sounded quite odd when coupled with his very low class vocabulary. “How the hell can you use it to clean the bloody oven?”

“That’s exactly what Hermione was interested in knowing, Molly. You may have found another use for an implement that’s already quite useful,” Remus said with a sweet smile.

“Well, maybe so, Remus, but I haven’t…quite mastered it yet.”

“Let’s see then, dear,” The glint in Arthur’s eye had disappeared. It figured. It never stayed long.

“Arthur,” Molly put both her hands on her hips. “I said no. Not tonight. You men are all soused and it’s time for you to go to bed.”

Sirius interjected, “But we want to see this thing cleaning the oven.”

“Sirius Black, since when are you interested in oven cleaning?” she asked with an air of superiority.

“Not usually, when we have to use a wand or dragon’s blood. But this is news, so I’d like to see it.”

Molly felt that it was impossible to hate Sirius more, especially when the other two men were nodding in agreement. She stood still, staring Arthur down. When he averted his eyes, she moved on to Remus. She knew that she would never be able to stare Sirius down, but Remus was a sop and much easier to manipulate. He was a gentleman, after all.

Sure enough, Remus didn’t last long. He shrugged, stood up and announced to the kitchen at large that he was going out for a bit. Sirius grinned mischievously at him and bade him goodbye, adding, “Have fun, mate. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Going through the same silly repartee that occurred every night that Remus went out, the werewolf answered, “Well, Padfoot, that leaves me with a long list of ‘okay to dos’.”

Arthur snickered. Molly wished he would snicker less and do more, like Remus was obviously doing. She didn’t say anything, just silently willed Remus to go out and fuck whomever he was going to fuck that night, wait for the host to go up to his bedroom, certainly not to fuck anyone, and then she could Banish Arthur to their bedroom. Fucking was out of the question anyway.

Remus left and Sirius didn’t wait more than a couple of minutes to follow suit, saying he was going to bed. She followed his retreating body, fixing her stare on his arse. It was amazing that the man could wear shapeless robes like they all did, and yet still look ‘good’ in them. His arse seemed firm even through that layer of expensive cloth. She wondered if he felt sexual urges at all. Maybe he had lost them in Azkaban. That immediately gave her a good plot bunny for another fic, an angsty one where Remus was desperate because Sirius came back from jail and couldn’t get it up.

The thought made her happy. She could at least put the plot bunny onto her hard drive as soon as Arthur left.

It didn’t take long. He rose, stretched out his arms and yawned deeply. She made no motion to get up, though, and Arthur asked her if she wasn’t tired.

“No, Arthur, I still have to clean this kitchen. Soon enough the children will be waking up and demanding breakfast. You go on up, dear, I’ll be up shortly.”

“Are you going to use the conturber to clean the oven?” he asked excitedly.

She barked at him. The man had a one-track mind. “Arthur, go to bed. No, I’m not using the computer to clean the oven. I’ve already done it and it’s clean. Whenever I have to clean it again, I’ll make sure I’ll call you to watch.”

That seemed to appease him, and he left, yawning.

Molly finished cleaning the kitchen. She liked her kitchen spotless and it took a little longer than she had planned, but she still had a good couple of hours to write. She picked up the computer that she had hidden in a drawer and started writing.

Remus said good-bye to the rest of the people in the big house. He reserved a special look for Sirius, the significance of which didn’t escape Mona, the nice lady who lived with them. “Ah,” she thought, “it seems that dear Remus is getting laid. I’m happy for them.”

But where had Remus gone? Mona thought that he would be cuddling with Sirius by the fireplace after everyone had gone to bed. Then they would be able to engage in hot steamy sex, right there on the floor. Maybe Sirius would take Remus on the sofa. Maybe it would be Remus’s turn to top and take Sirius violently on the coffee table, his cock deep inside Sirius tight and utterly gorgeous arse. Oh, the possibilities. But where had the werewolf nice man gone?

He came back sooner than expected, with a little package in his hand, and

She stopped when she heard the noise of the front door opening. She froze. Who could that be? She poised her finger on the ‘save’ key and stood to attention. To her dismay, the kitchen door opened and Remus put his head in.

“Molly! Still up? I saw the light of the candle and thought someone had left it on.”

She immediately hit the ‘save’ key. “Yes, I’m just winding down. What are you doing home so soon?” The man couldn’t possibly have had sex already. She felt sorry for the woman he had been with. Molly had long thought that Arthur was fast, but Remus was obviously faster. Oh, those men needed to read more porn so they could learn what it was like to pleasure somebody. She sometimes read het, too, if written by some of her friends, and there was nothing of this “wham-bam-thank you-ma’am” absurdity in them. Sex scenes went on forever.

She hoped he wouldn’t come in to make small talk. Luckily, he seemed to be in a hurry to go to bed. He waved good night and took off.

With a happy sigh, she resumed her story.

went upstairs, where his lover was waiting for him, lying naked on his stomach on the large bed, his midriff covered by a gold lame sheet, but the rest of his body was bare. When Sirius saw Remus, he turned around languidly, spreading his legs wide and showing his lover his enormous erection, which had already been well lubricated, waiting for Remus to remove his trousers and impale himself on Sirius’s brilliant cock.

Before Remus did so, however, he showed Sirius the little package in his hand. Sirius arched one eyebrow and Remus explained that it was chocolate ice cream, which he would spread all over Sirius’s body and lick it off from top to bottom.

Remus opened the carton and started spreading chocolate right on the head of Sirius’s cock. It seemed a good place to start his ministrations. Sirius moaned and arched his back, then started screaming Remus’s name. The chocolate melted slightly, and Remus took his lover all the way down his throat. He had had plenty of experience with it and didn’t gag at all. Sirius loved that and came inside Remus’s throat. Remus swallowed everything, to the last drop. The mixture of chocolate and spunk was dizzying. Remus felt that he could survive eating just that, for the rest of his life, and he told Sirius so. Sirius kissed Remus passionately, tasted himself and chocolate in Remus’s mouth and was immediately hard again. Remus was hard still, and they started rubbing their lovely cocks together, in the hypnotic rhythm that was only theirs.

Molly stood up to get a glass of cold water. The kitchen was extremely hot, she felt. She checked the oven to make sure it was turned off. It was summer and so logically it would be hot, but the house seemed to be boiling.


Remus waved good bye to Molly and rushed upstairs, taking two steps at a time. He had been out for a long time. He tiptoed through the corridor, so as not to wake any nosy teenager up. They would be sure to ask him why he was going in the opposite direction of his own room.

Finally, he reached the last door in the second floor corridor, opened it and smiled. Sirius was lying on his back, completely naked, save for a piece of cloth – the top sheet – that he had bunched up on his stomach. It was a sexier image than a completely nude Sirius, if it was possible at all. Sirius loved to cover only a small part of his body, just to tease Remus. Sirius was also very turned on and acknowledged Remus’s presence with a slightly obscene gesture.

Remus quickly came in and closed the door behind him.

“Why did it take you so long?” Sirius asked in a hoarse voice, arching his eyebrow.

“Because someone decided that he wanted Nutella-chocolate ice cream tonight. Not almond, not hazelnut, of which there were many cartons. No, it had to be Nutella. I had to go to three different shops to find the damn thing.”

“Well, you’ll see it’ll be worth the trouble. Bring it here. Is it still pretty frozen?”

“Of course, prat. Do you think that I, chocolate ice cream purist that I am, would forget to cast a Freezing Charm on this rarity? I don’t eat melted ice cream.” Remus was shedding all his clothes as he approached the bed.

“Hah. But the heat of my body will melt it,” Sirius smirked.

“It won’t be on your body long enough to melt,” Remus said, sitting naked on the bed and opening the carton of ice cream. From the bedside table he took a little spoon, dipped it on the ice cream, scooped some out and put a dollop on the tip of Sirius’s cock.

Sirius hissed. Remus grinned and lowered his head.

The ice cream didn’t melt at all.


Later, Remus and Sirius were sitting side by side on the bed, eating the last of the ice cream out of the carton. Remus had to admit that Sirius had excellent taste in ice cream. The Nutella-chocolate was a new flavor and was just divine. They weren’t even talking, just enjoying the flavor.

Finally, the carton having been emptied, Sirius stretched out his arm and Remus nestled inside the crook. They heard someone coming up the stairs, but they were safe in knowing that their door had been protected with a very well cast Privacy Charm. They could hear noises from outside, just in case they were needed for an emergency, but no one would ever imagine that the two of them were together in Sirius’s room. Remus’s own room, on the other side of the corridor, was equally protected by a charm. If anyone knocked on Remus’s door, or called his name out loud, the two wizards would be able to hear and Remus would Apparate noiselessly into his own bedroom.

The steps continued to the older Weasley’s bedroom. Molly, finally coming upstairs. She always came up late at night, and it had been the reason that Sirius and Remus had gone through so much effort to sound protect their rooms. Molly was very nosy and was constantly watching them. At one point they had thought that she might suspect something about their relationship, but they decided that, if she had known anything at all, she would probably have raised hell. Molly didn’t look like someone who would be gay-friendly.

They heard her door closing and Sirius asked, “Moony, what was all that fuss about a computer?”

Remus sat up. He had been quite intrigued by Molly’s attitude, too. “I don’t know, Sirius. I find it so strange. All we asked her was for some time with it, so Hermione could chat with her parents. The poor girl…”

Sirius was deep in thought. “There’s something strange, Remus. Molly can’t possibly know how to operate a computer. She can’t be using it to clean the oven, obviously. We have to find out what the story is with that thing.”

“Of course we do, but how? She seems stuck to it. I tried to find it right after dinner, and it was nowhere to be seen. She’s been hiding it.”

“Which makes me even more suspicious. Why would she hide it? We’ve got to get our hands on it, and then Hermione can help us decipher the secret.”

“Marauders’ Best?” Remus asked with a boyish grin.

“Of course. Never failed.”

“What do you suggest for distraction?”

“My dear Mum, of course. We have to make sure that Molly will leave whichever room she’s in without the computer.”

“We’ll probably need Hermione’s help.”

“Good idea. She can help by making Mummie Dearest upset, Mum screams, Hermione screams, too, Molly comes out of the library, I rush to help scream at Mum, you grab the computer and hide it here.”

“Perfect plan, Mr. Padfoot.”

“Do you see any holes in it, Mr. Moony?”

“Nary a one. It’s a winner.”

“Now, we have to make sure she’s in the library, because it’s closer to the portrait. And that no one else is around, so she leaves the computer there.”

“Well, she only spends time in the library or in the kitchen.”

“We’ll make sure that the young people stay in the kitchen, so Molly will have to go to the library.”

“Maybe all of us should stay in the kitchen. Then Hermione goes up, trips and…”

“Mischief managed.”

Laughing in anticipation of a prank and remembering the easy days of youth, they cuddled in each other’s arms and fell asleep.


Molly was in a bit of a snit the next morning at breakfast. She had hit a writers’ block the night before and had written the same scene at least ten times. She still wasn’t happy with it and all she wanted was for everyone to leave the kitchen so that she could get the computer from its hiding place and start on the story again.

But the very irritating host and all his guests, including her own children, had adamantly stayed at the table after breakfast. She had tried shooing the young ones away, but Sirius and Remus had been entertaining the teenagers with tales of their life at Hogwarts. There were tons of tales about Snape, and the young people were just guffawing.

She couldn’t tell Sirius to leave his own kitchen. She had tried implying that they would be more comfortable upstairs, but first the jailbird, and then the werewolf had decided to have yet another cup of coffee and tea, respectively.

Huffing under her breath, Molly decided to go to the library with her computer. At least she should be alone there for a while, since everyone was staying put in her kitchen. All right, Sirius’s kitchen, but only in name, since he never used it for anything else than eating.

She looked at the table and saw that everyone was paying close attention to Remus’s lengthy tail of yet another prank on Severus. She moved quietly to the cabinet where the cleaning supplies were, and from behind a large roll of Mrs. Skower’s Best Paper Towels, she removed her computer. She hugged it against her breast and left the kitchen walking sideways, so she wouldn’t have to show her front to the table. If anyone noticed anything, they didn’t make any comment. When she got to the door, she risked a look at the table and confirmed that everyone was still entranced by Remus’s tale.

She went to the library, closed the door and turned the computer on. She tapped her fingers while she waited for the connection. It was taking longer that morning, she noticed with annoyance. Stupid Muggle artifacts!

Finally she got her connection and started reading the one hundred and fifty e-mails she had received from her admirers. They were all full of praises for her latest fic, one of which she had been particularly proud. It had several kinks listed, among them rimming. It had taken her a while to realize what ‘rimming’ really was, and she had been thoroughly disgusted when she found out what it entailed. But every good fic around now had rimming, so she had included it in her latest. She had decided to make the practice a little more palatable, and her rimmee -- Sirius in that case -- had smelled and tasted like honey. That specific part had earned her the best reviews ever.

She decided to start writing the new chapter of the challenge before she got down to answering e-mails. She also had to password-protect her computer, but that would have to wait until after she had finished with the challenge story. If only she had more time alone to spend on her computer… she was probably the only one in the house who actually wanted the summer to end, so she could have much more time on her own to work on fics.

She had just opened the file and was about to start typing when she heard a crash and a shriek like a banshee in the hallway. And of course, Mrs. Black woke up from her stupor and started insulting the person. Cries of “MUDBLOOD! FILTHY CREATURE! HOW DARE YOU DEFILE THE HOME OF MY FATHERS!” And a girl’s voice crying told Molly that it was Hermione who had awoken the hag.

Molly decided that Sirius and Remus could take care of the little problem. They always did. She heard heavy boots coming up the steps. Good. The two former pranksters who didn’t seem to have grown up at all would silence the portrait. She stayed put and made a motion to start typing.

But it wasn’t to be. Sirius’s thunderous voice started calling, “An adult, please. You can’t do it, George. You can’t either, Fred. You’re not experienced enough. I need the help of another adult.”

Well, where was the werewolf? He would show up, she was sure. Then she heard one of the twins’ voices. “Sirius, we can hold the curtain at least, until Remus comes.”

“He’s in the bathroom, Fred. See if you can find your mum.”

Oh, no, they wouldn’t leave her in peace. She decided to leave the library before one of them came in and saw her computer. She closed and locked the door and went to the hallway to help Sirius.

They had just managed to close the curtains when a breathless Remus rushed upstairs.

“Sirius, what happened?”

“My dear Mum, Moony. Hermione tripped on this stupid umbrella stand and woke up the dead matriarch of this lovely family.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t come earlier. I was in the loo.”

“No problem, Remus,” Molly answered, already retreating back to the library. “I helped him. Now, why don’t you all go back to the kitchen? I’ll be in the library for a while.”

She hoped nobody would want to follow her. But this time she would just shoo them away, even if it was Sirius. She walked quickly to the library, raised her wand, said Alohomora, opened the door, stepped in and screamed loudly, waking Mrs. Black again.

It didn’t take Sirius and Remus long to close the curtain, and by the time they joined the rest of the group in the library, Molly was frantically lifting cushions, pillows and even furniture and heavy carpets.

“What happened, Molly?” asked Remus.

“My computer. It was here. And it has disappeared.” She looked at Fred -- or George – she couldn’t bring herself to care at that point. “Okay, you two, right now. Tell me where it is.”

“Where what is, Mum?’ asked Fred. Or George.

“My computer. What did you do with it?”

Fred or George looked baffled. “Mum…what’s a computer?”

Remus decided to help. “That metal box that your mum carries around.”

And Sirius added, with a deadpan face, “The one that cleans ovens.”

Hermione almost put the plan in peril, but she bit her bottom lip to stop herself from laughing.

Molly asked and pleaded, but it seemed that nobody had seen her computer. She decided that Kreacher was the culprit and went to the pantry area next to the kitchen to look for “that ruddy elf”.

With her out of the way, the only thing that Remus and Sirius needed to do was to go to Sirius’s room, where Remus had hidden the computer. They needed Hermione, but they didn’t want any of the other teenagers around. Hermione would keep quiet, but too many people knowing about the secret could kill it.

Harry presented the perfect excuse, and Sirius almost kissed his godson when he asked everyone to join him in a game of Quidditch. They went outside, and Hermione, who didn’t play at all, went upstairs with the two adults.

They locked themselves in Sirius’s room. She opened the computer, but it wasn’t working. That was small potatoes for Remus and Sirius, who instantly enchanted the computer to work on the second floor.

The screen lit up, right on a Word document called “Summer Night”. Hermione, being a fast reader, scanned the document slightly and blinked. She tried to turn the computer off, but by then there were two full grown wizards reading over her shoulder.

“Sirius, do you see this? This is about us.”

Hermione had read some of the story and was dying of embarrassment. She almost lost it when Sirius answered, “What’s this? Who knows this much about us?”

Hermione stood up quickly, averting their eyes and said, “Hmmm…I don’t think it’s really about you. This is…hmmm… oh, my God, how can I say this? Oh, I’m so embarrassed. Mrs. Weasley, she’s… she’s… a slasher.”

“A what?” asked Sirius, still reading and opening his eyes wider and wider.

“What’s a slasher, Hermione?” asked Remus, eyes also glued to the computer, mouth slackening.

“She… she… she writesgaypornandshepostsitontheinternet.” Hermione just wanted to disappear.

“Gay porn?” the two men asked in unison.

“Yes…and…she’s using you two as characters.”

Remus did some quick thinking. “All right, Hermione, we thank you for your help. Why don’t you go downstairs and… go read a book? We’ll take care of this.”

“All right, Professor, I will. I…I shouldn’t read it anyway. I’m not of age.”

“We understand. We’ll settle this with Mrs. Weasley. Now, why don’t you just forget it?”

Hermione seemed happy to do so. She scurried downstairs, leaving Sirius and Remus glued to the screen.

By the time that Molly figured out that Kreacher had nothing to do with it, she noticed that Hermione was looking at her strangely. It was an easy job to corner the younger woman and have her confess about the whereabouts of her beloved computer.

Molly climbed the stairs determined to wrench her computer from those two and give them a tongue lashing about taking other people’s property. They probably were still trying to figure out how to work the computer, not knowing that it didn’t function in the upstairs of the house.

Her secret was safe, but she would immediately put a password in the damn thing.

She got to Sirius’s door and was surprised to know that it wasn’t even locked. She saw the two wizards staring at the screen. She froze. No, they couldn’t have made it work. They were probably trying to make sense of the keyboard and things like that.

Sirius lifted his eyes when he heard her footsteps. With a very Black-ish look on his face, he greeted her sarcastically. “Well, hello, Slash Queen.”

Molly turned as white as a sheet. How could they have known? She stalled for time. “What…Sirius, what do you mean?”

“No need to pretend, Molly dear. Or Slash Queen.” With that he turned the computer to face her and she saw her fic, splattered on the screen.

She looked at Remus, always the gentleman. But his face was cold as ice. “Explain, Molly, please. What is this that you’re doing with us, with our names?”

Her breast was heaving hard. She couldn’t believe this had just happened. She wanted to get her computer and run.

But that wouldn’t be possible. Not with those two looking at her with penetrating eyes. She couldn’t escape it.

“Well, I’m sorry. It was only… play. Only a game.”

“Yes, we understand. But you’re using our names for your play. That’s not done, I don’t think,” said Remus.

“But nobody knows you, so there’s no damage done.”

“It doesn’t matter,” said Sirius. “It’s still us - as Muggles, but still us.”

She lifted her chin. “Well, it’s not really you. I’m just borrowing your names and physical description. As you said, these two characters are Muggles. And unlike you, they’re gay.”

Remus covered his eyes and Sirius burst out laughing. “That’s something else, dear Molly. A lot of your descriptions about gay sex are really off, you know?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, for starters, in one of these stories your character is being rimmed by his lover and you say he tasted like honey. Molly, the man hadn’t even taken a shower, so I imagine he tasted at best like stale flower-water and, at worst like, well, shit,” Sirius said with a devious grin.

Remus was shaking. She realized he was laughing. “Oh, really?” she said despondently. She knew what she was talking about. Her f-list all agreed that rimming had to have a good taste associated with it; otherwise, why would people do it? “Since when do you know so much about it?” she asked petulantly.

Sirius seemed to consider that question for a minute. She gloated. She had caught him.

Then he turned to her and asked, “Have you ever seen two men kissing, Molly? In real life? Or even in magazines?”

She shook her head. She had no idea what he was getting at. And her heart skipped a beat when Sirius took Remus in his arms and gave him a passionate kiss, which was answered in kind. She stared at them, incredulously at first, then gawking and turning red. It was a very hot kiss.

“You…you...” she stammered when they separated.

“We’re gay, Molly,” Remus informed her when he had caught his breath.

“But…but…you can’t be gay. You…go out once in a while…to have sex, don’t you? Like last night?”

They both laughed. “No, Molly,” Sirius explained patiently. “He goes out to get a few things that we might need – like ice cream, for instance. A bit like what you described, but the secret is to not let the ice cream melt.”

Her face was crimson red. She couldn’t believe it. She wanted to find a place where she could hide forever and never see them again. But she was living with them, at Grimmauld Place, with all her family. And then she remembered: Arthur. They would tell Arthur and that would be disastrous. Arthur could never know that he had such a perverted wife.

“What…are you going to do about this?” she asked, petrified.

“We? Nothing. It’s none of our business what you do, as long as it doesn’t affect us. But there are a few things you will do,” said Sirius. “Remus has some ideas. Don’t you, love?”

She didn’t miss the ‘love’ part, but was too embarrassed and worried to even think about it.

Remus nodded. “Yes, first of all, you won’t use our names any more. Invent others. Use your imagination.”

She nodded eagerly. It seemed that she would be able to continue her slashing career, after all.

“Second, you must give Hermione some computer time. She needs to communicate with her parents. Just make sure she can’t read your stories. She’s not of age.”

“Yes, I can put a password protection on my stuff. And she can use the computer while I’m busy with housework.”

“Good.” Remus closed the computer and handed it back to her.

“That’s all?” she said, disbelieving.

“No,” said Sirius. “There’s something else. Whenever you have a question about gay sex, you can ask us.”

She nodded furiously, took her computer and closed the door quickly, so she never heard Remus’s final comment, which was drowned by Sirius’s raucous laughter anyway, “Or you can always ask Bill.”

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