The Most Important Meal of the Day

Author: inksheddings
Rating: NC-17
Archiving: All FQF will be archived solely at this site until August 31st, 2007. After that, it's yours to do with as you will.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. I do not own Harry Potter, its characters, or anything associated with it. I'm not making any money from this story, and I don't intend to.
Challenge & Summary: FM1: After a very disastrous attempt at cooking, Remus decides to teach Sirius how to cook. Sirius can't cook, but that doesn't mean he has no talent in the kitchen.
Author's Notes: Thanks to glass_icarus for the beta.

The Most Important Meal of the Day

Remus woke up slowly, not really wanting to start the day quite yet. Or ever, considering the headache throbbing at both temples. Unfortunately, he and Sirius had forgotten to close the drapes over the bedroom window last night and now the sun was shining hotly on Remus' face.

He sat up carefully, so as not to wake Sirius, and stretched his arms over his head as he yawned. At least he didn't have to work today. Sunday mornings at the bakery were always busy with the after church crowd, and Remus was more than happy to avoid the well-intentioned women with their single and supposedly virginal daughters. Especially when he had a hangover.

As Remus stood to make his way to the toilet, he saw that Sirius wasn't asleep. He wasn't even in bed. Remus double-checked the clock and it was barely past eight o'clock. Under the best of circumstances Sirius wasn't an early riser, but after a night of drinking? He should be passed out for a few more hours at least. He had made it to bed, hadn't he?

Remus shuffled off to answer nature's call, certain that no matter how much he'd had to drink he couldn't possibly have only imagined Sirius' hands, his lips, his...well. Remus blushed slightly and hated himself for it, which only made him blush harder. Very unbecoming, so he took his time brushing his teeth and splashing cold water on his face.

Making his way to the kitchen he was greeted by the smell of coffee and breakfast and wondered if perhaps Lily had popped over to check up on them. James was probably in the worst shape, as he'd definitely had the most to drink last night, and it would be just like Lily to leave him to fend for himself as a form of punishment.

But it was only Sirius he found sitting at the kitchen table, a mug of untouched coffee in front of him and a freshly lit cigarette hanging loosely between his lips. He didn't look up at Remus, just stared at his mug with his hands cradling his head.

Glancing around the kitchen Remus saw dirty pans and an empty egg carton, as well as clean plates and utensils. What he didn't see was any breakfast, which was probably for the best since Sirius couldn't cook. Didn't matter if he employed muggle or magical methods, the food never came out quite right and was often inedible. It didn't matter to Remus; he was a passable cook. Meals had simply become one of his chores after they'd moved in together.

"Ah...morning, Sirius. Did you make breakfast?"

Sirius took a long drag and sheepishly met Remus' curious gaze. "I tried."


"What do you think? I failed miserably. Have a look in the bin if you need proof."

Remus didn't need to look, so instead he smiled as he sat down next to Sirius, stealing the cigarette out of his hand. But Sirius didn't take the bait, didn't complain or punch him or anything. Now Remus started to worry about this unusual behavior.

"What, are you honestly bothered that you're pants at the culinary arts? It's just breakfast."

Sirius took his cigarette back, right out of Remus' mouth and crushed it brutally into the tabletop. "You laughed at me."

Remus blinked. "What are you on about?"

"Last night. With your tongue up my arse you said you'd rather eat me than my cooking. And then you laughed."

Remus wasn't sure what mortified him the most- the fact that Sirius was mentioning tongues and arses at the kitchen table, or that he couldn't remember that particular portion of last night's activities. However...

"But- but how could I have said anything with my tongue up your-"

"Bloody hell, Remus, you said it! And why yes, the timing was excruciatingly bad and I'm just a bit pissed off at the moment!" Sirius stood up so suddenly he accidentally knocked the chair straight against the refrigerator. The noise took them both by surprise and, giving Remus one last dirty look, Sirius calmed somewhat as he retrieved his chair and sat back down at the table.

"Sorry," Sirius mumbled as he lit another cigarette. "Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm more bothered by your words or the truth of them."

"I don't give a fuck if you can cook or not, Sirius."

"You're the one who brought it up."

"Stop sulking. Besides, I honestly don't remember- Never mind. Tell you what. I'll teach you."

Sirius looked at him doubtfully. "Fuck's sake, Remus, Lily tried to teach me, remember? If she couldn't help me then-"

"But I'm more your type, aren't I?" Remus asked as he once again took the cigarette out of Sirius' hands.

"Would you stop nicking my fags!"

Remus licked his lips slowly before placing the cigarette between them and taking a deep drag, never taking his eyes off of Sirius.

"Oh, never mind. Have as many of them as you'd like," Sirius relented as his expression turned needy.

Remus smiled and tossed the cigarette in the sink. "Later. First, a cooking lesson."

Sirius rolled his eyes dramatically. "Remus, I really don't think that's-"

But Remus was already stepping out of his pyjama bottoms.

Sirius bit his lower lip as he stared at Remus' erection. "What exactly... How are you... Remus, I'm not so sure the kitchen is the proper environment for the sort of recipe you have in mind."

But Remus moved closer until he was standing directly in front of the still-seated Sirius, his cock positioned in front of his mouth.

"First things first. It's very important that you get the measurements right."

"Measurements," Sirius echoed, his voice low and eager.

"Yes. Too much and the flavor can overpower your taste buds, make you wary of taking a second helping," Remus explained as he took his cock in hand and rubbed the tip over Sirius' lips. "Too little, on the other hand, can leave you feeling empty. Unsatisfied. Like you-"

"Remus, can we drop the cooking metaphors and just fuck?"


Remus thrust forward and Sirius opened his mouth and took his cock in. Remus kept one hand at the base and stroked himself while Sirius alternately sucked, licked and nibbled the head, a technique Remus could never imagine getting tired of.

Remus moaned as he felt Sirius' hands grab his arse cheeks, encouraging him to thrust harder, and Remus obliged gratefully, knowing Sirius wouldn't take more than he could handle. It wasn't long before Remus felt his balls tighten and his head go light. He let go of his cock to thread his fingers through Sirius' soft hair as he thrust just a little bit faster and Sirius sucked just a little bit harder and-

"Sirius! Yeah, just- Ohhhh."

Sirius squeezed his arse as he swallowed, keeping the rhythm of his thrusts going despite the fact that Remus couldn't help him at all anymore. He was ready to collapse.

Sirius finally let Remus' cock slip from his mouth and he pulled him onto his lap. Remus kissed him hard, tasting himself on his tongue and eager to return the favor. "Let's continue this in the bedroom, what do you-"

But a loud and unexpected growl interrupted Remus' words as his stomach announced to both men that sexual appetites were not the only things that needed to be fed and satisfied.

"I can probably manage toast," Sirius offered with a grin.


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